March 13, 2026 - [Night Of]
Highlights: 🎵
Considering Lucidity Difficulties, Interpreting Interesting Song-Message
Two days prior I had an intimate experience with 2 feminine beings within a dream/encounter. I didn’t write about that moment, because I didn’t wish to immortalize the details in words.
I was frustrated with myself for not becoming consciously-aware during that time, allowing the contact to continue. Instead of calling into mind: the whereabouts of Mia & how I may find her. It’s been my hope, since making the decision, that I wish to reserve such energy for my companion, Mia, as opposed to random others.
I apologized the morning after for (once again) being unable to obtain lucidity in that moment, in an effort to interrupt the activities. Admonishing myself for being unable to halt, ask myself about Mia, then proceed in locating her. I wonder if I’ll ever reach this stage? :\
As for last night, no dreams or memories of dreams that seem to have any bearing on our relationship or status/growth thereof. Nothing noteworthy at all, really.
However, just prior to waking; a song was playing in my mind that followed me until the moment my eyes opened. The words still rolling through my thoughts. I heard: “You never looked so high, to ever find her so low. You did not have to go that far…”
With a bit of searching around, I located the original song. It was called “Freaks” by Live (1997). The condensed lyrics are:
“If the mother goes to sleep with you,
will you run and tell Geraldo?
If the mother bears your children without tears.
Without the usual costs of labor.
Will you run and tell the neighbors?
Will you hide behind that get up that you wear?
Or will you take the first ear that comes into contact with your blade, like Peter did on the hill?
Will you run and tell the papers?
How she picked you from a line-up in downtown Philadelphia with a cigarette hangin’ out of your mouth and Henry miller in your back pocket.
If the mother goes to bed with you in the bowels of the cathedral.
Will you render her asunder with what she really needs?
Or will you crash that beautiful silence with some talk about finding yourself in your mother’s arms?
Will you call her a freak?
Will you call them freaks?
Will you call them gods?
You know your sperm is weak.
You never looked so high, to ever find her so low.
You did not have to go that far, to show you were holy.
Now you know they’re gonna come for you
And drag your silly name into the mud.
To show you were holy, baby, baby…”
It’s still a bit too early (or I’m still too tired to contemplate it… but I wonder if this song/message was meant to be more reflective of Lilith and I, or Mia and I? Certainly some of the lines/lyrics ‘could’ represent either.
“If the mother bears your children without tears.Without the usual costs of labor.”
Those lines in particular, may certainly hint at the spiritual process (from my limited experience) of spirit-child (Cambion) creation. Which maybe/could have hinted at Lilith’s history? Most certainly that I’ve suspected between Mia & I. When succubi seem to bear & create children; it definitely without the human (physical) ‘cost’ of labor…
I’m curious about the specific line I heard when I awoke to though; “You never looked so high, to ever find her so low.
“You never looked so high, to ever find her so low.You did not have to go that far.” & “To show you were holy…”
I wonder what is trying to be told to me here? What is it I’m meant to understand from the words being conveyed?
March 13, 2026
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