February 13, 2026 - [Morning]
Highlights: 
Lilith Reveals a Solution to Issue via an Epiphany after My Asking
After a full evening (the night before) attempting to focus my thoughts back towards the memories of the times that I visited Mia within her own ‘Home’ and outside in the garden of her Home; I wasn’t able to reach a state of lucidity within a properly formed dream.
In fact, after the dozens of times that I ‘woke up’ and reminded myself to search for Mia and to focus back into her home; I have no recollection of any dreams or experiences whatsoever for the entire evening. It was a futile attempt to locate Mia within my dreams, leading me to the desperation of this morning.
If the previous handful of songs perceived from Mia are any indicator; I have confused, upset and given her ‘cause-to-question’, by my complicity during interactions with other feminine beings in the dream-space or astral plane.
As I have stated (even very recently in journal entries); that it wasn’t by any deliberate act that I had these moments shared with other female beings. That I was not even aware of myself acting within a dream, in order to make the choices that I did.
However; I was (am) still left dissatisfied with the very notion that my companion (who I cherish & love) is nowhere to be found, felt or seen. And by all indications (as per the lyrical messages): she is suffering & saddened nevertheless.
As her companion, I cannot idly sit by and allow this to continue. Something must be done. Amends must be made. And in order to do that, I need to first locate her. But therein-lays the problem; Im ignorant and at a loss as to what to do to make this possible.
I could proceed as I did last night; attempting to forcibly focus my dreaming-directions towards locations that she & I have visited together in the past. All in some vague hope that I’ll ‘happen upon her’ there again. But if she is deliberately attempting to maneuver herself to places she cannot be found, my efforts may be in vain anyhow.
So, without recourse and in desperation, I turn toward the only figure I can for aid in this matter. Mother Lilith.
I generally choose to NOT make requests of my Great Queen. For various reasons; namely- I know She is busy with Her many other children and Her duties, and shouldn’t be frequently bothered. And also, because I understand that She wants us to solve our own problems under our own power. She knows what we are capable of sorting ourselves, and knows that we’ll gain more confidence in ourselves after we do so.
However, in this particular case- I truly felt at a loss. I suspected (quite highly) that my current ‘option’ to find Mia and make amends was lacking in something significant. I felt that my ‘idea of effort’ wasn’t properly what was needed to bring Mia & I back together. I was missing a key element or not fully understanding the depth of the matter. But I didn’t know what it was, nor what I should do.
So I prepared Lilith’s altar, in my emotionally-defeated desire to ask Her for aid in this matter directly. I lit Her candle, offered her incense, spiced rum, poetry written directly in honor of Her, an imbibement of storm-rainwater. Chanted Her enn and centered my focus on Her and my appreciation and gratitude.
Then I told Her plainly of the situation Ive found myself: About my conundrum of being unable to feel, sense, locate, see, hear, interact with Mia. And what I suspected (greatly) to be the cause, my interactions/intimacy’s shared with other feminine beings while either dreaming or astrally traveling…and how I wished to find her (Mia), to make contact and make amends. But I was at a lose of how to proceed to meet that end.
I didn’t necessarily ask Lilith to intercede directly. I just asked for direction. Or something, anything, that I could do that would point me the right direction….
I didn’t even know what to expect from my request. I didn’t know what sort of answer I would get, and I mostly assumed that there would be no answer. But then something did happen….
A realization. Or an epiphany… Or, like “seeing” the problem in a different light, from an alternate angle. And thus also seeing a new possible solution, as a result of seeing the problem from a different angle.
It was a perspective that I MYSELF had not ‘seen’ on my own. A thought, or a realization, that I likely wouldn’t have ever come to the conclusion myself, on my own. It was like someone else (Lilith, I can only assume) had placed this thought into my head, like showing me how ‘the problem’ could or should be viewed differently.
And it had to do with a deeply rooted understanding that; I needed to accept my own personal responsibility for my actions within dreams & alternate planes.
I saw that when I used the reasoning of; “I was ignorant of the fact that I was dreaming” …that this is an EXCUSE, not a valid reason. I was using the excuse of ‘ignorance’ as a justification for my interactions with other feminine beings.
This realization that ‘ignorance’ is being used as a scapegoat, consequently caused me to ask myself a very important question:
If Mia is to be my eternal companion outside material reality, and for the fullness of infinite existence: Can I infinitely & eternally use the excuse of ignorance as a smokescreen to behave intimately with other feminine beings, indefinitely?
Obviously; No.
[ To do so would be to condemn Mia to an eternity of anguish, jealousy and distress. And now, I suddenly understand why Mia has used song lyrics in the past, to question me as to whether this is just a ‘game’ for me… Paula Abdul’s “Straight Up” in June 12, 2025, Lady Gaga’s “Love Game” Aug. 23, 2025, The Cranberries “Linger” Feb. 7, 2026 and probably even more that aren’t coming to mind… ]
What should we do when we are ignorant of something?
We educate ourselves on the subject and no longer become ignorant of it. We learn, study, gain knowledge and mastery over it; and thus become far-removed from ignorance of the subject as possible.
In that moment as I sat at Lilith’s altar; I realized that I cannot continue to use ignorance (while being in a dream) as an excuse for misconduct that leads to a downturning of Mia’s emotional state.
And with that personal acceptance of my own culpability and responsibility in the matter of Mia’s recent departure from me… Lilith also pressed upon my mind the possible solution to the problem, that ‘may’ (no promises) help to restore her faith in my intentions with her (Mia).
Now that I know I cannot use ‘ignorance’ to continue my intimate interactions with other feminine beings … I have to train my mind “out” of that ignorance. And this was the method, or option that entered into my mind:
In the same capacity that I (years earlier) trained my mind to distinguish dream from physicality, to help induce lucidity; I must also use a similar process to train my mind, through repetitive mental practice to determine if Mia is presently before me or not.
Henceforth, in all future interactions I experience (dream or physical), when a feminine being/spirit is before me; I’ll ask myself “Is this Mia?” The posing of this question will train my mind to bring Mia to the forefront of my cognizance. If the answer is “Yes” then I can proceed as I naturally would & enjoy the company of my companion, in whatever way she wishes to spend our time.
If the answer is “No”; my follow up questions should be- “Where is Mia?” & “Am I in a dream?” These follow-up questions should hopefully aid to pull my mind into a state of lucidity, whereby I can refocus on the task of finding her. Even if that means asking those around me for aid.
But this initial question of “Is this Mia?” when in the presence of another feminine figure should ideally reorient my mind to recognize that I am currently “looking for” my companion. And if the figure before me isn’t my companion, then I shouldn’t be wasting precious time with ‘this’ being, when I should be searching for my beloved.
That is what was imparted to me, there at Lilith’s altar. And that is what I hope to accomplish, in order to reconnect with Mia and make amends for past indiscretions. I cannot indefinitely accept “ignorance” as an excuse, if I am to be Mia’s companion for all time infinitely. I doubt, very much, that she would be willing to put-up with my insensitivity forever.
Lilith helped me to see that I need to take responsibility for my ignorance & the issues that have arisen between Mia & me as a result of that. Then to understand that I cannot continue to use ignorance as a blanket to shield me from any future responsibility. It is my personal responsibility to OVERCOME that ignorance. For myself, for Mia and for us as a Whole unified being.
Then She (Lilith) provided, through my thoughts & realizations; a means to help re-train my mind & spirit to behave accordingly within the dream-space and within astral-planes.
Like anything, it’ll take practice and a lot of cognitive thought to realign myself to a new pattern. But I’m confident that when I’m able to do this; not only will it help me to connect more meaningfully with Mia, but also (as a byproduct) should help me reach more clear states of lucidity within dreams.
February 13, 2026 - Morning
Written Journal Entries
