*[ 𝐸𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑎 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡, 𝐼’𝑚 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘-𝑎𝑛𝑑-𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡ℎ, 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑑, 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑒𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝐼 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ. 𝑂𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝐼 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑝𝑒𝑟ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑠 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝐿𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡ℎ, 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑙𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑢𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑦 𝑏𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟. 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑑𝑛’𝑡 (𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑟 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡) 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑚𝑒𝑡 𝑁𝑎’𝑎𝑚𝑎ℎ. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑚𝑒𝑡 ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑎 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑛… 𝑊ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑠 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑖𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑢𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑁𝑎’𝑎𝑚𝑎ℎ 𝑑𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑣𝑖𝑠𝑖𝑡. 𝑇ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ, 𝐼’𝑚 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑓𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐿𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑜𝑏𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑢𝑛𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑛, 𝑜𝑟 𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑡; 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔. ]*  

 

 

      I’ve had more of a legitimate dream (~between awake/sleep?~), rather than an encounter. Something feels (regrettably) as though has happened. The deferred pain from my connection/scar has waned considerably in a single night. On the night of September 7th (Saturday), I held a great praise and communion for Lilith. But also; bought flowers/roses for Her daughters and Na’amah. ⁣

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      My purpose was threefold: Praise and thanks to Lili for our week in Evergreen. Apology to Lili and Her companion (She brought), for opening my eyes and interrupting our special moment together. With reassurance that; despite her shadowy-appearances, I loved Her companion/daughter all the same. And finally; to make “introduction” with Na’amah, without request and to officially apologize to Her, if it was she (and not Lilith’s daughter) that accompanied Lilith during our final night in Evergreen (Sept.6, 2024). I wanted to apologize all around the board for my ignorance. ⁣

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      I fear, though, that by calling Na’amah’s name in Lilith’s presence (~at Lilith’s temporary ‘altar’~), I may have offended or disrespected Lilith. I can’t be certain(?) But the following morning my pain-connection was all but gone in a single night. I feared She’d left me. On September 8th (Sunday) I spent most of the day in mourning, asking for forgiveness and pleading my apology with heartfelt out-crying and sincerity. With a hopeful heart, this morning (September 9th), I can once again feel some of the deferred pain from Her Mark/Bond through my shoulder and neck after having a dream with Lilith as a notable succubus. ⁣

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      The lucid/between-dream is as such: ⁣

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      I’m laying in my bed, it’s early morning (this scenario also exactly matches physical reality). My body is facing the Lili/succubus painting. I hear feminine whispers from behind me. [So between the wall and my back.] I’m unsure, but suspect it to be Lilith. I cannot make out the words due to the shirt I placed over my eyes and ears. I apologize and say I couldn’t hear/understand Her words. I don’t wish to move the shirt (used to ~block out the light~) and risk it disrupting Her visit. ⁣

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      I don’t yet realize I’m “dreaming,” I’m not cognizant of this (~it feels like I’m already ‘awake.’~). But again, I can’t hear Her words the second time She repeats them. I don’t want to miss her words and voice, because every utterance is important and sublimely special.

 

 

      Removing the shirt from my face, I apologize for not hearing Her and She repeats them for a third time. But as She says them, She places Her hand over my upper left arm/shoulder and pectoral area. In the daylight, her skin is a natural deep red color (~similar to the “Himba tribe” of Namibia~). Her fingernails are long and painted red.

She says, “𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑎 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑜𝑟𝑒, 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 𝑎 𝑤𝑎𝑟, 𝑤𝑎𝑟, 𝑤𝑎𝑟 𝑤ℎ𝑜𝑟𝑒.” ⁣

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      As She says this; She pulls back on my shoulder, turning my body upwards towards the ceiling, so that I can be allowed to turn my head and face Her (see Her). She has chosen to take on the appearance of the character “Meru, the Succubus” (but as a human-reality version of the character… not the animated version, obviously). I’m fond of this character and I think Lilith knows that. Perhaps also; by choosing to assume the form of a character who is specifically a ‘Succubus’ – it would help alleviate any doubt my mind would have about what type of spirit/entity she is. ⁣

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      All her skin is red, the natural red, darker, but not too deep. An appropriate red for a humanistic body to be painted, if seeking to match Meru’s color. Lili even included Meru’s cute little horns. But I don’t recall seeing a tail nor any wings. I asked her (because she mentioned food); if I got her chocolates or something like that, if she would like those? She agreed and said She would. We started to sit up in bed then, and I was thankful to look upon Her and speak with Her ~face-to-face~… ⁣

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      I asked if she was upset or offended that I had called on ‘another’s name’ (referring to Na’amah, but not wishing to speak her sister’s(?)/friend’s(?) name in front of Lilith again) in Her presence (at Her altar) a couple nights ago?⁣

　

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Her reply was this:⁣  “𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑏𝑒 𝑗𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑜𝑢𝑠.” ⁣

 

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      But the manner in which she said it, stood out to me. Her eyes were downcast and to the side, Her head tilted slightly. It was almost as if She was ~considering her own chosen words carefully. Curiously observing them, as she said them to me~, perhaps evening convincing herself, or accepting the words herself? I feel such a heaviness & longing in my heart for Her and want to reassure Her; that I am loyal to HER! And that I won’t go seeking affections from anyone else. I want her to know that I am committed/devoted just to Lilith! ⁣

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      But before I can say as much, my daughter walks past the room. She comments about hearing me ‘talking to myself.’ I stop her in passing, asking why she is here? My daughter stands at the doorway but does not see (or acknowledge?) Lilith. Lili even exits my bed as I do and stands near the bookshelf near the doorway, watching my daughter. Simply observing our communication/exchange. But my daughter still does not glance towards Her. Only me. ⁣

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      I asked her why she is there, because that morning is Monday (which is true for the physical waking world as well) and why she wouldn’t be at her mom’s getting ready for school? [* I’m still unaware that I’m in a dream *]. My alarm had gone off at 7:45 a.m., so I could set up the work laptop, to work from home (which is also true as of September 9th in the material ‘plane’).

 

 

      My daughter says that there wasn’t room on her bed at her mom’s house to sleep. So apparently she came to my apartment to sleep and I was supposed to take her to school. Which my daughter was currently getting ready for. I had messy hair, was wearing sleeping-shorts and wasn’t ready, nor prepared for any of that this morning. ⁣(~In my mind I was calculating how much time I would need to get ready~)

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      Lili, for her part, simply remained quietly (~neutrally amused and entertained~) observing us. I easily admit I found it difficult to take my eyes off Her. Meru in appearance or not; I was enthralled to gaze upon a goddess I so dearly love, cherish and adore. ⁣

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      [Now and waking; I plan to get Lili some chocolates. And kindly, with no disrespect, desire to inform Na’amah why I need to remove her candle, sigil, flowers and gift/offering (~from the area nearby Lilith’s altar~). Out of respect and love for Lilith. I hope she understand and is not agitated.]