I have been ill for the past week. Some sort of chest cold caught from a family member, no doubt. Before catching the sickness, I can attest to feeling, lightly, the presence of my companion, Mia. However, it seems as though from the day that my illness symptoms first became noticeable to me; Mia stopped or paused her visitations (which were sporadic and random at best anyways).⁣
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      So I consider why this may be. And have a few different theories.⁣
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      One: Perhaps with my senses more focused on my physical body and how the illness is affecting it; I didn’t allow enough perception to “feel” outwards and take note of her presence. Perhaps she was still there at times (or all along) and I simply didn’t notice, because of how distracting the sickness is?⁣
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      Another possibility is: Mia simply wasn’t there. As I’ve stated before; I asked Lilith for a free-willed and spirited daughter. And I’m personally working towards establishing a relationship with her, that is free from the expectations and assumptions that has plagued my life with human women. In each of those prior relationships; their expectations of me, and assumptions about me, eventually led to the downfall of that partnership. And let me be clear here: I have NO plans to allow my companionship with Mia to follow the same course as the human relationships of my past. And I especially will not project any ‘expectations’ upon her, as was done to me in the past! Based on prior experiences with Mia, I can gather that she has responsibilities in her realm that keep her plenty busy. So I stay patient, awaiting her visits and appreciative when she does.⁣
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      The other possibility is: Mia can sense that my energy levels are low when the human body is fighting an illness. And when a lilin (succubi) interacts with a human, there is an energy-exchange that takes place. Not always sexual in nature (though sexual energy is the easiest for a human-spirit to bolster for that mentioned “exchange”). Perhaps in Mia’s understanding that my energy levels were already so low, trying to fight off a sickness, she forewent any visits which would compromise or potentially subject me to further energy drain? Any of these possibilities could easily explain Mia’s absence during the time which I got ill.⁣
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      However, I began to feel a bit better, more energy returning, and on the ‘mend’ on Sunday night (January 26th, 2025). That night I had a dream that involved my former spouse. I don’t remember much, except that we were sitting outside on the lawn of the final apartment we ever lived in together. At one point, she crawled into my lap, facing me and kissed me deeply. Then crawled away and acted to be busily distracted ‘cooing’ and talking to some infant children in her care, who were playing in the grass nearby.⁣
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      She knew I was watching her, aroused by her kiss, but pretended that she didn’t sense me desiring her. She would playfully tease at this fact by bending low into the grass, her back arched (*butt facing me*) and playing with the thong string of her panties. She knew exactly what she was doing and how the visual teasing would affect me.⁣
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      Then again, last night (Monday, January 27th, 2025), I again have another dream in which Valley was playfully teasing me with sexual promises, without plainly leaning into them or providing. It was always this feeling of “sexual promises” just laying in wait…if I followed her lead, if I was patient and waited until “just” a bit longer. But the moment never comes. It is always that way (it seems) when Valley image is used in my dreams: That the moment of sexual contact is just outside of reach, hidden behind playful teasing, hints, promises and amorous gestures.⁣
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      This time, in a very crowded movie theater. Lots of people walking many different ways, trying to find their correct theater room. Some leaving, some arriving. Absolute busy-human chaos. She whispers in my ear, bites my lip and promises me ‘what’s to come’ when we find our movie room and our seats. ⁣
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      But first, she needs to inform a friend of ours of where we’ll be (Nicholas. A ‘childhood friend’ of mine). I’m left standing there amidst the chaos of shuffling people, unsure if I should find the correct room, save our seats or wait for her return; as I watch her disappear into the crowd. And I’m left with the unshakable impression that she has done this intentionally. Like, it is a part of her ‘game’ to rile me up sensually, then disappear, so she can observe me from some distant corner to see what I will do next.⁣
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      Both of these dreams, I woke-up from, feeling unfulfilled, unsatisfied and (frankly) a bit confused. Confused because, this doesn’t “seem” like something Mia would do: Wearing the ‘aspect’ of Valley in order to sexually tease me. However; we are (after all), still in the infancy-stages of our relationship and still (very much) getting to know one another. And there is doubtless a wealth that is still unknown to each of us, about the other. ⁣
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      But still, I questioned; Why would Mia assume the form of Valley? Especially considering the “Emotional Separation Ritual” that I conducted prior to our Bonding Ceremony. Which I did primarily to prepare myself to have a clean slate for her (when I was to meet her)?!⁣
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      There is another possibility. Lilith. Lilith is always invited. I made this clear a long time ago. And She has used Valley’s image in the past to appear in my dreams before. Perhaps She did so again? Maybe I need to evaluate these dreams. What message is Lilith trying to share with me? If this was really Her…?⁣

      In addition to the dreams (or perhaps as a result of them) after 9 to 10 days of building up sexual energy in my effort to conserve what would be satisfying and useful to my beloved Mia, it was released and expended without any aid of my own. ⁣And immediately after, I felt Mia drawn to me. Without the “thrumming” in the air (suggesting that she was always present all along, or it no longer requires such effort on account of our Bonding Ritual and her personal altar in my room?). Whatever the case, she was there right away.⁣⁣

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      I could feel her writhing in the air just above me. Moving like serpentine swirls in the air around my body, sending rippling cascading tingles of energy water-dripping like pulses over and across my skin. The combined effects of climax and her spirit rolling around, in and around me; intensified the feeling of ecstasy to heights I never have felt before. Additionally, the feelings of the afterglow of pleasure stretched on far far longer than I have ever experienced. I lay panting, euphoric and dull-climactic for well over an hour, before absolute exhaustion seized me and I fell asleep.