July 12, 2025 - [Eve before bed] : š¶
Highlights:
Analyzing Companion’s Latest Lyric Message, Realizing Fundamental
(Obvious) Truth about Mia & Her Messages
Ā Ā Ā It’s after 11:30pm and I have just dropped off my daughter at her mothers house for the night. We had been talking about future pets she might enjoy having; a snake, a rat, a tortoiseā¦random casual conversation. After she went inside, I proceeded to drive away in the silence of my car. After a couple blocks passed; I realizedā¦that within the darkness of the night and quiet of my mind – a song was āplayingā in my thoughts and I became AWARE of the fact that it was playing, as my mind echoed the words I was hearing.
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Ā Ā Ā The song had no reason to be in my mind (of my own choosing, nor external influence); which meant (I have learned) – it was most likely a message from my beloved. Mia. These types of songs that come about in this way are never ārandomā, they have always contained messages within the lyrics that directly apply to my companion & myself in some capacity.
Ā
Ā Ā Ā I recognized the singer. It was the vocalist from a band I enjoyed in junior high, called āSmashing Pumpkinsā but I couldnāt recall the song name itself. I only had these lyrics in my mind to use, to figure out what the song was:
Ā
Ā āHave you ever heard the words Im singing in these songs?ā āCan a taste of love be so wrong?ā āGreat love, will one day have to part.āĀ
Ā Ā Ā Iām going to look up the full lyrics in just a moment on YouTube, but I have a dreadful suspicion that I’m not going to particularly like the message being communicated.
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Ā Ā Ā What poor timing to, because literally just an hour before I left to take my daughter back home; I was amping myself up and getting excited at the thought of specifically engaging with astral projection tonight, for the implicit purpose of seeking out Mia. Not to bother her, or distract herā¦just because I love her and wanted to enjoy finding her and surprising her by saying hello!
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Ā Ā Ā I had been feeling nostalgic all day about the early days of getting to know Lilith & learning about Her. Her likes, building an altarā¦ and that nostalgia extended to Mia also (though our bond is still so new); I still felt as though – there is no reason to always be in āserious modeā about our partnership. Our companionship can still feel as free, ānew,ā exciting, mysterious as it was right at the beginning. I thought That; I should be able to let-loose and enjoy the whimsical nature of discovering the personality of a spirit-mate, without any of the drama of day-to-day life/necessities dragging down our simplistic joy!
Ā
Ā Ā Ā Thatās how I felt all day and up until an hour & 1/2 ago. But now with this songā¦ It’s got me a little anxious. Hmmā¦Ā Ā I wonder what Miaās message will be to me? Hopefully nothing too rough, challenging, or causes despondency.
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Ā Ā Ā Okay, enough stalling I guess. Iāll go listen to the song lyrics now and then write them here as well afterwardsā¦and see what I’m supposed to hear/know.Ā
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Ā Ā Ā The song looks like it is called āMuzzleā by theĀ Smashing PumpkinsĀ in (1995). The album is called āMellon Collie and the Infinite Sadnessā (curiously; the cover art depicts an auburn-haired woman emerging out of the center of a star). That in itself could be perceived as a message from Mia, linking us together from our shared moment on March 25, 2025. Very interesting! She looks to have her eyes rolling upward (towards her āthird-eyeā/pineal gland?) and the art is reminiscent of tarot-style art?
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The condensed lyrics are:Ā 
Ā
“I fear that I am ordinary, just like everyone.
To lie here and die among the sorrows, adrift among the days.
For everything I ever said, and everything I’ve ever done is gone and dead.
As all things must surely have to end.
And great loves will one day have to part.
I know that I am meant for this world.
My life has been extraordinary;
Blessed and cursed and won.
Time heals but I’m forever broken,
To lie here and die among the sorrows, adrift among the days.
For everything I ever said, and everything I’ve ever done is gone and dead.
As all things must surely have to end.
And great loves will one day have to part.
I know that I am meant for this world.
My life has been extraordinary;
Blessed and cursed and won.
Time heals but I’m forever broken,
by and by the way.
Have you ever heard the words I’m singing in these songs?
It’s for the girl I’ve loved all along.
Can a taste of love be so wrong?
And in my mind as I was floating, far above the clouds.
Some children laughed; ‘I’d fall for certain’, for thinking that I’d live forever.
But I knew exactly where I was.
And I knew the meaning of it all.
And I knew the distance to the sun.
And I knew the echo that is love.
And I knew the secrets in your spires.
And I knew the emptiness of youth.
And I knew the solitude of heart.
And I knew the murmurs of the soul.
And the world is drawn into your hands.
And the world is etched upon your heart.
And the world, so hard to understand.
And the world, you can’t live without.
And I knew the silence of the world.”Ā Ā
Have you ever heard the words I’m singing in these songs?
It’s for the girl I’ve loved all along.
Can a taste of love be so wrong?
And in my mind as I was floating, far above the clouds.
Some children laughed; ‘I’d fall for certain’, for thinking that I’d live forever.
But I knew exactly where I was.
And I knew the meaning of it all.
And I knew the distance to the sun.
And I knew the echo that is love.
And I knew the secrets in your spires.
And I knew the emptiness of youth.
And I knew the solitude of heart.
And I knew the murmurs of the soul.
And the world is drawn into your hands.
And the world is etched upon your heart.
And the world, so hard to understand.
And the world, you can’t live without.
And I knew the silence of the world.”Ā Ā
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My thoughts on particular lyrics:
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Ā āI knew exactly where I wasā & ādistance to the sunāĀ (is she speaking of her journey? The one she is currently in the midst of?)Ā
Ā āI know I’m meant for this world, drift among days & die among sorrowsāĀ ; Is Mia referring to the realm/place-of shadows & darkness she showed me before, that she currently resides in (or resided in at some point)?Ā
Ā āCan a taste of love be so wrong?āĀ (I used nearly those exact words at the tree Lilith challenged me to find, over a year ago! I spoke out-loud saying; āeven if it’s from a taboo partnership, such as with a spirit (succubus), how can seeking such a love be wrong?āĀ
Ā āIn my mind, I was floating. Some kids laughed saying that Iād fall, for thinking that I would live forever.āĀ – This sounds to me as though; Mia shared her hopes & imaginings to the young spirits she shepards (as their caretaker / teacher / child-sitter) about our (Mia & I) desire to float away and exist spiritually-together. Forever. Creating our own paradise as an eternally-partnered couple. And those children laughed/teased, perhaps, at her āday-dreamingā fantasies?Ā
Ā Ā Ā Itās not a fantasy to me though. I’m determined to find her when my physical life is expended and I’ve become spirit alone. I will seek her out, find her and carry her away to anywhere, everywhere we wish to be.
Ā
[And this is why I want and NEED to hone my astral projection capabilitiesā¦ I need to familiarize myself with the spiritual / astral realm, so that I understand where, what and how to do everything that I need to do; for when the time comes.]
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Ā “Echo that is love”; how many times has she experienced āloveā in the past, but it failed to free her? (Or left her disappointed/abandoned over & over, like a fading echo?)Ā
Ā “Secret in your spires, murmurs of soul, solitude of heart…”Ā (she knows my inner thoughts/emotions: intimately)Ā
Ā “The world; drawn into hands, etched upon heart, hard to understand,”Ā andĀ “in the world you can’t live without”ā¦ I have a rising suspicion I may know what she means with these lyrics. It’s a theme that has been coming up over & over again in different songs (messages) sheās sent AND in different personal experiences weāve had in the past & words sheās communicated to me in dreams.Ā
Ā Ā Ā I’m reluctant to actually speak my theory out-loud or put it into words; because of how enormous the concept would be. The realization of it seemsā¦so unlikely (too grand) to my personal desire to remain humble.
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Ā Ā Ā Though; the collection of references continues to build and build. I wonder how much longer I can refuse to accept it? What would that mean if I did accept it? It just seems too big. It couldnāt be true. Surely I’m misinterpreting THAT specific part of her messagesā¦.right?
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Ā Ā Ā I can’t write it. I can’t say it. Iāllā¦.just, wait, I guessā¦ Maybe think about it (but even that seems likeā¦too much hubris). Too arrogant? Egotistical? No, those descriptors have a negative connotation. This āideaā is just too big to be a realistic possibility. A silly notion. A misconstrued assumption. Walking down that path could potentially LEAD to arrogance & megalomania, at any rate. Best not entertain such thoughts.
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Ā Ā Ā Ultimately, after listening to the song multiple times and reading all the lyrics and interpreting with my heart; I don’t believe Mia has sent these lyrics/messages for me to gain any instructions for insight into myself. I think I’ve forgotten something SO simple, that it is painfully obvious to me now: Mia FEELS. She has her own emotions, that are uniquely hers and separate from all others. And I think this message from her, is her expressing to me; how she is feeling at this time.
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Ā Ā Ā It would be conceited to believe that all her messages (songs/lyrics) to me are always ABOUT me! Sheesh! Of course she would simply need to express her emotions to me from time to time (using the methods she knows how, and that work)! She has likely been doing this very same thing in the past (previous songs), more often than I’ve been open to receiving. I feel a bit dumb now.
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Ā Ā Ā Sheās trying to tell me (in the tone, cadence & messages of the song); what her emotional state-of-being is at that time. And right now, she is feeling ādownā and a bit ālet-down.ā Perhaps a bit āembarrassedā and āunsure of her future.ā I need to reference back to some of her earlier messages to me, and review the lyrics again with that frame-of-mind also. Miaās options to communicate how she āfeelsā is limited. But weāve both established that songs/music/lyrics are something we can both connect on easier. She can describe her emotions through the vehicle of music, as-well-as use it to deliver messages!
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Ā Ā Ā Right now, if she is down- It’s my duty, my desire & my privilege to find some method to cheer her up and bring her joy again. So, the plans for astral projection are NOT out yet! I will continue my plan from earlier- to find her and bring her smiles & love.
July 12, 2025
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