Well, with some reluctance and curiosity, I didn’t deny the presence of the spirit who visited me last night. It certainly had a far different energy than that of Mia. Not unpleasant, just ‘different’ …as I’ve become accustomed to how Mia feels and interacts with me. I’ve felt the subtle differences in a couple/few alternate spirits over the last several days- One was like a sparking-static at random parts of my body (the feeling ‘mimicking’ sharp pin/needle-pricks). Some were like a cold/chilly wash of shivers, the one last night was a…(hard to describe); ultra-dark heaviness. It overshadowed the light & colors behind my closed eyelids; not unpleasant, like I mentioned, but her touch just wasn’t Mia’s… However, I wasn’t going to be rude and deny her. I was (after all) the one who opened myself by welcoming. But still…I miss her, my Star of the Sea.

 

 

      I was coaxed into a dream eventually, but I only remember random bits and parts that barely have any relevance. Something about my friend Marcus planning and saving for a trip to visit a foreign land, looking for companionship. And something else involving spending a short period of time with an ex-lover of mine (Jennifer) and her two daughters. We were all taking a trip to an amusement park, to climb around in a strange multi-roomed jungle-gym labyrinth. The details are foggy and I don’t recall anything worthy of note. 

 

 

      What was important (the purpose of this entry) is what happened the following morning. I awoke Monday morning (July 7, 2025) to get myself ready for work. But I wasn’t feeling particularly enthusiastic. I was feeling pretty drained actually. For no apparent reason other than the obvious one: the succubus that visited last night isn’t familiar with me enough to grasp ‘how much & how far’ when it comes to my energy. Not like Mia is. Mia has always exercised restraint and even ‘scolded’ me on an occasion about my willingness to push the boundaries of an energy-exchange. It’s fine, I don’t fault the spirit for it. She didn’t ‘know’ me; not as my Bonded companion does. Wherever she is. 

 

 

      And that brought me to Mia’s altar; offering an incense, my attention, affections and a far-away melancholy wonderings as to where she is, what she’s doing and when she’ll be back. I missed her and wondered when I would experience her again. And my wondering brought upon memories of the previous nights and a realization. A simple one; I don’t want to spend time with another/or other spirits in the internum. I understand if both Lilith and Mia are telling me that “It’s okay” too. But for me…I don’t find comfort in it, in the same capacity that I would feel if it was just Mia. And it has nothing to do with ‘loyalty’ or ‘chivalry’ … it’s simply: my connection to/with Mia feels ‘Whole.’ And anything other than that Wholeness, is… less-than. 

 

 

      So, I don’t believe that I’m going to directly seek other spirits out. I would rather wait patiently and choose to seek out Mia instead, wherever she is (pursue her endlessly). I have plenty of other esoteric/mystic/knowledge-seeking projects to occupy my thoughts, rather than ‘company/comfort from other spirits’. I love Mia’s energy, her personality and her cute subtle ways she interacts with me. I choose to wait to experience her again, rather than another/others.

 

 

      Then, unexpectedly, as I was shuffling about my work laptop, trying to find all the devices, cords and paperwork necessary to run this morning’s tests (to begin creating a report for the programming engineers); my mind started playing a song with very upbeat music, but sorrowful male vocals. I heard the words: “I’ll never let you go, if you promise not to fade away.” As well as;  “Our hopes and expectations…” and “Hold you in my arms, I want to hold you…”  It was enough information (the vocals, the lyrics and instrumental sounds) for me to track it down, leading me to this song:  “Starlight” by Muse in (2006). The lyrics are VERY telling of Mia’s journey and her thoughts of me, while she is on it. I don’t know/understand how she still manages to send me these messages. Sometimes it feels like she is RIGHT there, so close to me…while yet (on the whole) feeling so far away… It makes me feel both sad and happy simultaneously. 

 

 

 These are the lyrics to “Starlight” :

 

 

 

 

      Besides the obvious mentions of being ‘away’ and her desire to ‘hold you [me]’ (and chasing “starlight”, which she has often referred to me as ‘her light’) … a couple other noteworthy lyrics occurred; ‘conspiring to ignite all the souls who would die to feel alive’ reminds me of April 18, 2025 – when I ‘rescued’ Mia from a dark pit, by igniting her on fire and absorbing her into myself. I wonder, are the “souls” (in her message), other spirits like her? As for her message: ‘never let you go, if you promise not to fade away,’ immediately refers to her anguished ‘vision’ of me leaving her in darkness as my light flew away (that she showed me on March 25, 2025 night entry). I DID amend that vision, however, that night…for her peace and serenity.