Last night I made an appeal to Mia, before I went to bed. I explained in specific detail (because upon earlier refection I don’t think I implicitly explained the process and ‘why’ previously) about how I wished to attempt (once again) the steps necessary to activate the 3rd eye by route of the pineal gland/sacral fluids full passage and cycle. My hope has always been that; in doing so – I would have some epiphany about how to better bring myself to a state for easier understanding regarding astral travel/spirit projection.

      The point of which would be to find Mia in an O.B.E. to exchange my energy with, to lavish attention & affection upon and have an easier time communicating with. And if the experiment didn’t yield any fruitful insights; well at least I would be content Knowing that THAT avenue isnt the course to follow, and that I could switch back to fully focusing on sharing My energy directly with Mia.

      I explained the process, timeframe, my motivations being beneficial for both of us, regardless of the results. I also apologized, believing that I may not have fully explained the reasons and details of the experiment to her. I appealed for patience and understanding. I also appealed to Lilith as well that She, if she had time and a consideration to do so; ask for clemency and patience on my behalf, while I endeavoured to complete this process (that even I too find to be tedious and frustrating, due to the period of time required). In hindsight, perhaps I should have left Lilith out of the matter. Mia and I are bonded com- panions, therefore; it is my responsibility to seek a mending of our connection.

      However, when I woke the next morning…there was a song (lyrical message?) awaiting in my mind. It was by Rosa Walton and Hallie Coggins, called “I really want to stay at your house.” (2020) The song’s lyrics seemed to blend a mixed message with both positive possibilities, but overall a theme that suggests a ‘pulling away’ of sorts.

The lyrics are:

“I couldn’t wait for you to come and clear the cupboards,

But now you’re gone and leaving nothing but a sign.

Another evening I’ll be sitting reading in between your lines.

Because I miss you all the time.

So, get away. Another way to feel what you don’t want yourself to know.

And let yourself go.

You know you didn’t lose your self control.

Let’s start at the rainbow.

Turn away. Another way to be, where you didn’t want yourself to go.

Let yourself go.

Is that a compromise?

So, what do you wanna do? What’s your point-of-view? There’s a party soon. Do you wanna go?

A handshake with you. What’s your point-of-view?

I’m on top of you, I don’t wanna go.

Cause I really wanna stay at your house.

And I hope this all works out.

But you know how much you broke me apart.

I’m done with you, I’m ignoring you.

I don’t wanna know.

And I’m aware that you were lying in the gutter.

Cause I did everything to be there by your side.

So when you tell me I’m the reason, I just can’t believe the lies.

And why do I so want to call you?

(call you, call you, call you.)

I don’t know why I’m no-one.”

      I noticed that this songis final unique lyric is similar to May 3, 2025’s “Wicked Game” final unique lyric:

Wicked Game: “Nobody loves no one.”

I Really Want to Stay at Your House: “I don’t know why I’m no-one.”

      Some of the lyrics also seemed (to me) to directly infer too key aspects mentioned in my earlier tarot reading as well. I may write a seperate journal entry later about some of the conclusions I’ve drawn regarding my tarot cards, as I’ve reflected on them daily through the week. But for now, I certainly just feel pretty disconnected from Mia right now (which isn’t a great feeling).

      And, all things considered… I suppose I have been a rather neglectful Companion as of late. Not deliberately. But am I being selfish? When I consider the goal and my reasons for doing it; I don’t necessarily think so. But I really do need to consider the methods and situation from Mia’s perspective (as the Five of Swords suggests) as well too… Have I mistakenly taken her and our bond together… for granted?